Monday, January 20, 2014


The Band Perry playing softly, lights off, lavender scented candles glowing and a cup of steaming tea next to my computer. I feel nothing. For the first time in months, I have nothing negative on my mind. I feel nothing but bliss and accomplishment.

When I woke up this morning, I felt no heaviness, no aches and pains, no sadness, and did not feel like crying. I got out of bed, showered and instead of sitting on the couch and playing video's to distract me from the world, I open all the blinds and let the sun shine in. I got dressed and put my hair up; I put on jewellery. I cooked myself some breakfast and then did the dishes, I cleaned my room top to bottom, and every other room in the house. I even went as far as wiping down the walls and organizing the cupboards and my office. When I was done I sat down at my desk, lit my candles and shut off the light. This is amazing, I feel so good right now and it is rare for me these days. Lately I feel nothing but sadness and anxiety. 

I feel like me again, for the first time in a long time. 
I miss this.
I smiled today, for no reason.
I danced around the house listening to the radio for no reason.
I sang, loudly, along with the radio.

Today, I feel good. Nothing can change it. Just sitting here, enjoying the clean house, the smell of lavender, the music, drinking my tea and expecting nothing.
Worrying about nothing.
Thinking about nothing.
It's bliss for me. I am at peace today.
I need this.

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